Bash the Rampage

Jan 16, 2004

w00t

Im sure someone who knows me will say thats totally true.

Your wings are DRAGON wings. Massive and covered in scales, they shimmer with strength and magic. They are the most obvious display of your power - though it runs equally throughout your heart and mind. You are uncompromising and grave, with a profound sense of justice. You have firm ideas about what is right and what is wrong and set out to fix what problems you can. You realize that you are more capable of dealing with life and evil than most, and as such you see it as your responsibility to protect those who cannot defend themselves. You have existed since antiquity and as such you are wise far beyond your years in this lifetime. While you strive for fairness and peace, if someone should steal from your cave of treasure (though not all that glitters is gold) or compromise the happiness of you or one who is close to you - they have signed their death warrant. You have a mighty vengeance and will unleash it upon such people immediately and mercilessly. Arguing with you is useless...you rarely back down and are known for holding firm in your beliefs. Sometimes you feel intensely burdened with the troubles of others...acting as a Guardian can get so wearisome. But you never give up...you see it as your life's mission. Often very introverted, you can be so smart...it's scary. Such a combination of intelligence, creativity, power, beauty, and magic is often intimidating to those around you - who are also unlikely to understand you. Arrogant, proud, overserious, and sometimes a bit greedy or obsessed with whatever treasure you choose to pursue...you have enchanted people for centuries, and will continue to do so.

Anyway, I finished packing thursday (its technically friday now) and it was very sad. Im glad Sara was there to keep me company or else I might have had a serious breakdown. Well, no turning back now

Posted at 04:59 am by Bash
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Jan 13, 2004

SATURDAY!!

(No, its not saturday you silly and/or stupid schoolchildren, now run along and poke out an or something)

I move on saturday and I still havent done everything i need to do, seen everyone I need to see, see the things i need to see. and do the people i need to do! ><

Posted at 10:27 am by Bash
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This lube taste funny...

Its supposed to be kiwi, it taste like kiwi for a second, then it taste like lube. >< Its funny though, I feel like shooting some on kurama and starting a lube fight, thatd be fun. Kind of gross though. Um, I move in 4 days... I think, *counts* yep, 4 days, not counting this tuesday. I want to go, but I really want to stay around sara, shes become a big part of my life lately, id say shizu, but shes been absent....?....avoiding me, iono. Anyway, Im not in love, but I want to be around her, and it make me heart pound. She brought up something interesting the other day though, school down there, to see me. Itd be really cool, but probably wont happen. sad. Ill get to see her when i visit though, and she'll stop by on her way to vegas...supposedly. But iono, I want to talk to her about actually going to school with me there, but I think either a) she doesnt want to or b) has been through so much crap that shes afraid. GRRRR, i only have 4 more days to see her, and in those same for days all the other people I want to see, though I have a feeling I may push them aside to see her. lol. thats not funny, its mean. Mainly its liz, I think if i can see her, since we've been close but missing eachother everytime. I just need to catch her, and yo-yo and itll be all good.

Oh, and I went to Rocky the last two-weekends in a row. kinda dull, but met cool people.

Posted at 03:16 am by Bash
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Jan 9, 2004

*sigh*

If I disappeared tonight, would you notice?

Posted at 08:45 pm by Bash
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Jan 6, 2004

doh!?

Ok, what I wanted to put in here, i deleted, so ill dig it out of recycle bin and post it later. umm, yeah, this post is kinda so everyone knows this blog hasnt been abandoned yet. because when it is, ill post that im leaving it.

Posted at 10:19 pm by Bash
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Dec 19, 2003

Things I dont want

I want to stop feeling so sullen
I want my heart to stop feeling so heavy. so heavy it feels like it could stop working any second
While youre at it, get rid of that pesky heart
I want to stop having friends that care about me so much, and make it hard to leave, because its something I have to deal.
I want people to stop thinking I need their help. They ask and I say no, so they force it upon me.
I want to be how it was in 8th-10th grade. I dont want feelings anymore, they suck.
I do not want this stomach, it hurts to much.
And I dont want these stupid bones that are going to kill me

Posted at 11:49 am by Bash
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Dec 15, 2003

Competition...

Ok, I know I said I was tired of competing, and I am. But I can't seem to stop.

(Oh, by the way, if anyone ever figured out, or had an idea of what I meant by competing please tell me it, I'm interested if anyone ever got it)

I like games, I like wiinning, I like competing. Theres a specific one thing I want to stop competing for thuogh, but I cant stop it. >< And the place Im in is really driving me insane. I mean, Im a good person, I deserve this one thing, I think itd be awesome, but NOOOO.

Im not even in second, IM IN THIRD!!!! GARRRRR!

I hate it so much.

Anyway, theres my rant.

Oh, and to one of the people who read this, Im sorry about the other day, I shouldnt have done that. You know when you came to hang out, when we were in the car togther? ya, sorry...

Actually, I don't regret that, Im not sure it went over on your end. But I think Ive decided to take your advice and just go for it. hope that makes things turn out ok.

Posted at 07:03 am by Bash
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Dec 13, 2003

Really short update

Well, I discovered another thing, that even though I like it, because of my body, I can't have it. >< so that sucks. anyway, umm anything else? Saw shizu today, it was fun, think a couple points went by where she felt quite awkward though. maybe its just me though. More on the visit later, but for now, nap time =^.^=

Posted at 06:20 pm by Bash
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Dec 8, 2003

I wanna go back to being me!

:'(

Posted at 05:44 pm by Bash
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Dec 5, 2003

Its gonna be one big hellish entry

Its been a VERY stressful/confusing week, please understand the lack of updates.

Ok, I said I'd get around to posting my definition on love, and here it is....errr finally...

(included is a friend of mines because her posts help round out mine. Hope they don't mind.)
>>
<<

And if youre not interested, theyre's plent of update goodness below it, just skip all that.

11/24/2003	9:46:50 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	I think love is when your heart aches when that person is away, when you are able to make dreams come true together (cheesy and whatever....but you know what I mean...)
11/24/2003	9:46:54 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	not done )
11/24/2003	9:47:28 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	and when you are able to tell someone else everything about you and they will be genuinely interested and comfort you and appreciate what you've gone through
11/24/2003	9:47:40 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	someone who can be on the same level
11/24/2003	9:47:45 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	someone who is in tune with you
11/24/2003	9:48:14 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	It's when you're willing to give up everything just to be with them
11/24/2003	9:48:19 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	to hear their voice..
11/24/2003	9:48:27 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	or see them one last time
11/24/2003	9:48:46 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	something in you just knows that you can't live without them
11/24/2003	9:48:59 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	you can't function normally if they were completely gone forever.....
11/24/2003	9:49:23 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	anyway, I'm getting dramatic and stuff....so it's your turn
11/24/2003	9:49:46 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	k, gimme a sec to read it
11/24/2003	9:49:53 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	k
11/24/2003	9:56:10 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	"and when you are able to tell someone else everything about you and they will be genuinely interested and comfort you and appreciate what you've gone through"
11/24/2003	9:56:17 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	"someone who is in tune with you"
11/24/2003	9:56:27 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	those i agree with
11/24/2003	9:56:30 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	cool
11/24/2003	9:56:35 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	(oh and a aside note)
11/24/2003	9:56:43 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	oO
11/24/2003	9:58:02 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	(it may sound like i bash some idea or opinion, but im not, i have no problem with people disagreeing with me and youre free to think/feel what you want, i just get kind of enthusiastic
11/24/2003	9:58:12 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	okay
11/24/2003	9:59:16 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	those 2 statements i pasted i agree with.
11/24/2003	9:59:36 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	the rest seems jealous and self-centered.
11/24/2003	10:00:24 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	i dont think love should be about ons self
11/24/2003	10:01:55 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	ok, may take a sec to type mine, probably wont be as long though ^^;;
11/24/2003	10:02:09 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	okay
11/24/2003	10:13:23 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	...
11/24/2003	10:13:26 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	that is really long
11/24/2003	10:13:46 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	im not an english major! im not good at wording things
11/24/2003	10:13:55 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	lol
11/24/2003	10:22:25 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	geeze
11/24/2003	10:25:03 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	(multitasking)
11/24/2003	10:25:31 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	pfft sure
11/24/2003	10:25:41 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	needless to say i dont need re-paste those, just add them in. Mine is based around the other person. which I (only i) believe what love should be based around. "i believe that it shold be someone that being around will make me happy, but not necassarily totally and completely (like most people want) i think it will make me happy to see them happy. someone when i make them happy, will make me
11/24/2003	10:26:36 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	i like that
11/24/2003	10:26:50 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	i wasn't trying to seem self centered in mine btw
11/24/2003	10:26:55 PM	Up there with those white people	Bash T.R.	I think I just don't explain things well
11/24/2003	10:28:09 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	smile. and that even if they werent in love with me, if i could help make them happpy in life, and see them find the person that they would want to be with. i may be a bit jealous, but id still be happy for them
11/24/2003	10:28:25 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	there, thats it
11/24/2003	10:28:29 PM	Bash T.R.	Up there with those white people	sorry for the wait

Don't blame me, blame the way it pastes, because if you really care, you'll just read straight down that right column

OH! and for those who wonder, and read that post about crushes/love and/or whatever you got out of it, yes, yes, you were all right, there was someone, and I told her.

Ok so, my job moved from redmond to Union City, CA. that bites, the main reason I want to leave is beacuse of people, but the main reason I want to stay is because of my few good friends. So I was going to pack a few things, a bit of clothes and sich, THEN I get notified that im not going for a week to a month trial. I'm going for a minumim of a 6 month trial! s0x0rs! that really changed who i needed to say goodbye to and such alot more. and made packing alot more sucky. Especially since the stuff already shipped and now I have no PC at home. ><

Telling someone how you feel about them is HARD! especially when you want things to only stay put, or get better. You cant know what will happen. I spose it turned out better then I thought it would, and worse then I thought it would, ummm, so yep. that last sentence was sonfusing.But I was able to tell her, mainly because Shizu kept pushing me too, which Im glad for... (Though reference, this is the first time I've ever really shared my feelings with everyone in my life, and though i did break down kinda, I was so sad and distraught over what would happen if she were to leave my life. I even cried, and I havent cried since I was 11. Hope that kind of puts perspective so wondering people can know how I feel.)

(On a personal note to that person: Im sorry, Im not good or used to having to describe things like that. I just, dont have the words to describe the way feel for you in general, let alone when i get to be with you, or when you're feeling down/depressed. Just know that I'll always be there for you, and that I hope when you need someone, though I may not be top on your list, I hope Im on there)

And how am I supposed to be strong for my friends, when everyone around me is so weak?

I got to see an old school chum last night, TOMMY! hes awesome. (Shameless plug for his site and band) We don't see eachother much, despite the fact we're alot aalike and live about a block away from eachother. Great guy, We went bowling/DDRing. Hes better than me. >< Im going to hopefully see him once again before i head out. But we talked about alot of other school friends who we still see, or changed, or left, or we had falling outs with. which brings up the question: WHY DONT YOU PEOPLE THINK?? Most people reading this whether you know it or not. Dont think about consequences or the future. Why do good girls fall for bad boys? Because they dont think, thats why, etc. etc. *last 6 lines edited out because I felt that people would get mad...(even though I'd be right)

There was also much more to my week, but thats for probably never, but maybe if youre lucky, another time

Two last things

1: Buy Tommys CD! its great, only cost $5, And theres a song on there because of me! (apparently I was one of the few who encouraged him to keep it)

2: And two, why do I write in this thing likes theres actually people who read it?

Posted at 11:15 am by Bash
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